Suicide ~ An Inside Job

lisa-masters20011/18/2016 ~ Lisa Masters, the 52 year old actress who committed suicide a few days ago, was found in her hotel room with a suicide note and antidepressants. People on Twitter talked about inadequate #mentalhealth care.

My own experience with depression and a suicide attempt was that my doctor refused to increase my prescription for injectable cyanocobalamin (vitamin B12) and told me I should be on Prozac for life. Luckily I saw a neurologist who said I should use more cobalamin when I was under stress. Within a few months of having a B12 shot ever week I was almost depression free. Sometime later I switched to a holistic M.D. who diagnosed Fibromyalgia and gave me a prescription for injectable cobalamin sufficient for a B12 shot a day. That amount of vitamin B12 made the Fibro go away, my peripheral neuropathy go away, my Depression go away, and when subjected to the same stress that had made me suicidal I no longer felt like killing myself.

Prozac Side Effects

Anxiety, nervousness and tremors are just a few of the side effects known to result from taking the antidepressant Prozac: Fluoxetine Hydrochloride. By increasing serotonin levels in the body Prozac triggers the adrenal glad to release cortisone, just as if it were responding to danger or to higher and dangerous levels of stress. This added adrenaline gives the personality a boost. Long term studies on Prozac and other antidepressants that work on increasing serotonin are finding most patients on these drugs are worse off after treatment than before treatment. The Food and Drug Administration (F.D.A.) has never in their history had as many problems with a drug as they have had with these forms of antidepressants.

Prozac Side Effects ~ Read more.

Note: Years ago, Natural News reported that Eli Lilly, maker of Prozac, had full knowledge of a 1200% increase in suicide risk for takers of their Prozac drug, the first antidepressant SSRI medication. Read more.

Prozac Cartoon found at :Home Spirituality and Faith Personal Growth Please Pass the Prozac

B12 Deficiency and Depression

“In this report, we describe an elderly woman who suffered from severe psychotic depression who did not improve with conventional treatment but recovered significantly following administration of vitamin B12.” Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. Read more.

foreclosed suicide 200Foreclosure Related Suicides

8/8/2014 ~ “Foreclosure-related suicides spiked by 263%,” according to an NBC report.

I’m not surprised that suicides spike because of foreclosures. After all, so many foreclosures are based on fraud, supported by corrupt courts. What can a homeowner do against a bank like Wells Fargo, and robo signing that ranges from fraudulent document creation to judges signing Foreclosure Judgments that are false in their basic facts and deny basic due process?

“Foreclosure may be exceptionally stressful, because it is very protracted and consists of multiple negative events,” said Katherine A. Fowler, a CDC researcher and lead author,” quoted in the segment and making it sound as if the foreclosures are justified and homeowners can’t take it.

The underlying truth is far different. The death dealing blow in foreclosures is likely to be bank fraud combined with the inability of the foreclosure victim to get justice.

To see the spike in foreclosure-related suicides for what it really is, you have to understand that Eric Holder of the United States Department of Justice worked for Wells Fargo and Bank of America, as well as other of the Big Banks, before he went to the DOJ. So, how likely was it that he would bring any kind of action against his former clients? What is it that lawyers are always saying? “Attorney client privilege,” isn’t that it? Doesn’t that mean that Wells Fargo, etc. are privileged at the expense of American homeowners?

There’s also Lanny Breuer, head of the Justice Department’s criminal division. He, like Holder, was a partner at Covington & Burling, a Washington law firm that represented a Who’s Who of big banks and other companies at the center of foreclosure fraud. Do you truly believe these guys were going to uphold justice? when they can instead uphold their former clients, who they most likely want as clients again in a year or so?

NBC’s report on Spike in Suicides related to Foreclosure ~ Read more. (Sadly NBC fails to have an associated video and instead misleadingly shows videos about lower foreclosure numbers, as if the foreclosures are justified to begin with.)

Your nerves vs Foreclosure ~ Read more.

Stress can break you ~ Read more.

Suicide ~ Despite Smiling

1/12/2014 ~ I watched Gia Allemand on The Bachelor and on Bachelor Pad. I didn’t know she had killed herself until the 2014 season of The Bachelor ran a tribute to her, In Memory. Since then, Gia Allemand’s suicide has been on my mind.

Suicide is viewed so differently by those considering it for themselves, and by those who know someone who is considering or has committed suicide.

First of all, we’ve been taught, or at least I was in my Catholic grade school and high school education, that suicide is unforgivable because it means we’ve lost hope. Homicide on the other hand, is something you can confess and be forgiven. This being the case, it would seem that there would be few suicides, since in religious terms suicide suggests everlasting torment for an unforgivable sin. In reality, however, there are more than twice as many suicides as homicides in the United States.


Effective Murder Suicide Graph

As someone who wanted to kill myself for much of my life, and didn’t talk about it, I know how it feels to want to be free of the pain of life, both physical and emotional. The closest I came to killing myself was after years of abuse by the IRS. I had written many letters about the need to reform IRS, and in many I talked about giving my life the same way a soldier gives his or her life.

I thought that carbon monoxide and sleeping pills would do it, but I was saved. A nurse from the ER told me later that when I came round I said, “I didn’t make it.” I was angry at not being allowed to die. I don’t remember, due to the amount of sleeping pills I’d taken, the first two days after I was revived.

A few hours prior to trying to kill myself I’d tossed a coin, to see if I was really supposed to kill myself. I foresaw going to heaven because of the selfless act, since I was trying to help others who were abused by IRS, as I had been. But, what if in reality I was deluded? I didn’t want to kill myself by mistake, thinking it was the right thing to do, when in fact it was not. So, trusting the universe to tell me whether or not it was a good idea, I tossed a coin. The coin landed, saying, Yes, I should kill myself. I was surprised. I had thought that with all the teaching about how bad suicide is, that the coin would for sure say, NO.

So, I had a last meal: goat cheese and tortillas, with coffee and Grand Marnier. My favorites!

But, as I say, I didn’t make it. A neighbor thought it odd that my car was running. He found me, and I was taken to the ER, where I was given a B12 test, as well as tests for drugs. Apparently B12 is tested when someone attempts suicide. My B12 level was described on the doctor’s bill as, “Profound B12 Deficiency.” The drug tests showed I wasn’t doing drugs, other than the sleeping pills.

If I had not tried to kill myself, I would not have known I had a B12 deficiency, and I would never have had an opportunity to live an entirely different life. Because, you see, after B12 replacement I felt as if I’d been given a whole new life, born again… except that for many people those words refer to a religious experience.

Before my suicide attempt, people around me thought I should go to a therapist. So, I did. The therapist said I should forget about the IRS and act as if what IRS did had not happened. That didn’t resonate well with me, and, if it had, I would still feel like killing myself a great deal of the time, at least when there’s stress. Instead, I learned about my B12 deficiency and began B12 replacement, which is largely what this site is about.

Gia Allemand

Gia Allemand

The reason Gia is on my mind so much, is that I would guess she didn’t realize how hard it would be to kill herself. The report I read left me feeling how horrible it must have been for her to be alive and in pain until she lost consciousness. The report seems to prove that planning a suicide when you’re feeling suicidal can result in huge pain, when in fact you were trying to avoid pain:

The “Bachelor” beauty who took her own life with a vacuum cord suffered severe mood swings tied to her menstrual cycle, her mom told TV’s Dr. Phil, as reported by the New York Daily News

“She was not depressed. Sometimes, when it was that time of the month, she would get insecure and go to a dark spot, and she’d feel like nobody cared,” Micheletti said. “She just snowballed.”
The New York mom said her daughter called her from New Orleans the night of the suicide bid and booked her a flight to come visit the next day.
“I’m not happy. I can’t go on with this anymore,” Allemand said during the half hour call, according to her mom.
“At that point, that day, with how she felt with her menstrual cycle, she could not see clearly,” Micheletti said. “I was trying to talk to her, trying to be careful what I say. I didn’t want to upset her more, and I was nervous.”
Details of Allemand’s Aug. 12, 2013, suicide – which ended with doctors disconnecting her life support two days later — were laid bare in a police report obtained by the Daily News.
According to New Orleans cops, Allemand hanged herself within two hours of her NBA boyfriend claiming he didn’t love her anymore.
She left a suicide note on her dining room table that read, “Mom gets everything,” and wrapped a vacuum cleaner cord around her neck. One end of the cord was found tied to the handrail on the second floor of her apartment. The other end was still attached to the heavy vacuum found at the bottom of the stairs.
According to police, Allemand arrived back at her apartment around 6 p.m. after a lunch date and emotional fight with boyfriend Ryan Anderson, a forward for the New Orleans Pelicans. “Mr. Anderson stated they were arguing most of the time during their meal over her suspicions of (him) having been unfaithful.”
Anderson told police he took Allemand, 29, to a Walgreens drug store to purchase a few items including Nyquil cough syrup and then drove her back to her separate residence. “Anderson stated before Ms. Allemand got out of his vehicle, she stated she loved him,” the report said. “I don’t love you anymore,” he replied, according to the report.
Allemand likely was on the phone with her helpless mother several states away when she caused the injury that left her brain dead. “I heard her last breath,” Micheletti told Dr. Phil, breaking down in tears. “I thought it was just mumbling. I couldn’t understand her. It was incoherent. I didn’t know what it was until after the fact.”
Micheletti sent Anderson a frantic text around 7:28 p.m. asking him to check on her daughter.
Anderson arrived at Allemand’s apartment 20 minutes later at 7:48 p.m., used his own key to enter and found the model “sitting” on the second step of the staircase, according to police. She was unconscious with the cord wrapped around her neck. “Mr. Anderson stated he frantically unwrapped the cord from Ms. Allemand’s neck, and that she was not responsive,” the report said. “He then began yelling for help.”
Read more.

Admiral Borda

Admiral Mike BordaI am reminded of Admiral Borda’s suicide. Admiral Borda was the first person to come up through the ranks, beginning as a sailor, to become head of the Navy. He took his life when Newsweek was investigating whether he was entitled to medals he wore. In fact, a friend from London, John Barry, was one of the Newsweek men, there to ask him questions. When the news played a video recording, which looked like something from CCTV, there were two shots. Later the video played with only one shot fired. But I think the fact was that the Admiral shot himself, found that he hadn’t died, and shot again. Think about it, that is not what we tend to imagine when we think about killing ourselves.

Similarly, a friend from many years ago went from being a bar maid to working in the San Francisco coroner’s office. She said that a man had shot himself in the head, but the bullet hit the inside of his skull in such a way that it circled around inside his head, in circles inside his skull, and still he wasn’t dead. I forget how long later he died.

I also remember my office manager when I worked at Nichols Agency in Santa Fe. He killed himself after months of stress re money and weeks of distressing anger from a woman who had listed with me but wasn’t happy with the newspaper coverage, which as I remember it, the office manager oversaw. The listing had been taken from our office and placed with another agency, but my name was still in the security records, so when the alarm went off, I was notified. The morning my office manager killed himself the alarm went off at exactly the time it was estimated he had died. My feeling was that when he died, when he killed himself, he was shocked at what it was like, at how different it was from what he imagined, and that he triggered the alarm.

If you are thinking about suicide, it may be because you are not capable of handling the stress you are under because your B12 levels are low.

I think it’s hard to believe that something so intense and personal as suicide could be related to the level of a particular vitamin in our body, but… from my experience I think that it is.

When I had B12 replacement it took about three months to have significant memory recovery, but that was having one B12 shot a month. When a holistic doctor prescribed a shot a day, my health and pain levels improved so much that I could hardly believe it. When the prescription for cobalamin for self-administered B12 shots ran out, I began using Methylcobalamin lozenges.

My depression went away when I had B12 replacement, but it went away much more slowly than other symptoms of low vitamin B12. The thing is, however, that it did go away. Later I faced very similar problems to those that thrust me toward suicide, only when my B12 level was healthy and high, I didn’t feel like killing myself was the answer. Instead I had lots of ideas of what I could do. Low B12 tends to reduce our ability to think, we have few new ideas, and sometimes the idea of suicide seems a good one. Just keep in mind, that lots of people who kill themselves, or try to, find that their thinking is impaired and the results they get are more painful than anticipated.

If you feel like killing yourself, get B12 lozenges and keep notes as you take them for a month… see what improvements you find.

Note: Years ago, Natural News reported that Eli Lilly, maker of Prozac, had full knowledge of a 1200% increase in suicide risk for takers of their Prozac drug, the first antidepressant SSRI medication. Read more.



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